| Big News!!! |
[Oct, 28th 4:07pm] |
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Seasons of Love - Rent Cast |
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Marrige is in the near future for me!!!! Very happy about that!!! We are moving to Superior...Happy about that too...I have an interview in Duluth on Monday...that will be promising...it's a position making 25,000 a year before taxes ofcourse...I dont know whatelse...I am very sleepy...
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| Ready Set....MORE RAMBLING!!!!! |
[Sep, 27th 6:28pm] |
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hinder - Lips of an Angel |
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Ok so its been a while since I've rambled...admit it you know you miss my crazy thought process of jumbled thought running through my head...I wont tell! Nah really though...lately I have been so stressed out...I mean I am just waiting for that day that Greg finaly comes home...44 more days...and he moves home with me!!! Very excited...I am looking for a new place for us to live and I think I found a pretty promising place...I no longer have a car so thats fun...I am having a real good friend over this weekend and looking forward to that...my roommate is going out of town and he's all like no parties...and I'm all like who am I gonna party with...so if you wanna party call me...if you dont have my number there is a reason for that...but seriously now...lately the stress has been piling on and on and on...like my grandmother is in the hospital...has been for two weeks then when she gets out she is going into a nursing home for a month then she is going to an assisted living place...I hate it...I mean she isn't healthy...and it scares the crap outta me...I am so close to my grandmother. when i heard she was in the hospital I totaly broke down and did something so stupid I am still kicking myself. Greg is all worried that I am leaving him because I told him that I was gonna be able to go visit him this weekend and it turns out that I am not able to but I can next weekend and he is getting all worried that I dont want to go and spend time with him but its not that at all...its really that I cant...I cant get the time off work this week and that sucks...I mean there is nothing that I would love more that to go and see my bf but I cant...and I do love him so thats not the issue...I got this letter from him today and I love getting letters from him because they are so sweet like he cant tell me how he really feels or how much he really loves me because he's got this macho thing to uphold and I totaly get that and its not even an issue but instead of saying those sweet melt my heart things he writes them down and sends them to me...I think that is so sweet...ahhhh this man is amazing...he is a bit on the wild side so I do have to calm him down a bit like just get him to respect people a little more...ya know the basics...but even if I never get that into him...as long as he still loves me more than anything he is perfect on my list...I dont know what it is...maybe the way he looks at me or holds me or listens to me or talks to me or everything about him...I mean I want to take care of him...he was sick a few weeks ago and I was so upset because I couldnt be there to take care of him...anywho...the roommate said that he got me a car...how wicked sweet is that...I mean a car...yeah!!! its a 1988 Delta 88...I am sooooo fricken excited to get it!!! I hope I get it by this weekend so that I can get my but around this weekend instead of sitting at home not doin a damn thing...so I am having Kenny over on saturday night just to hang out or whatever right and I feel bad because I know that greg wouldnt want me to be alone with Kenny but I dont know...gahhhh there we go again...me not knowing what to do...oh well though just a month and a half and I wont have these dilemas anymore cuz Greg with finaly be home...ok enough from me...how about you??
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| My new tat!!!! |
[Aug, 13th 2:44am] |
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Dixie Chicks - You Were Mine |
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Ok so I got a new tat...I love it...I know that once everyone finds out what it is they will think I am a freak...But I dont care...I know what it really means to me and that is all that matters but I love it so much that I have to share it with you all so tell me what you think of it ok? It is my cats name...I have had my cat since before I can remember and he is the one thing that has always been there...he is 19 and not doin to well so I wanted to get his name...His name is Sonny and he has the bluest eyes you have ever seen so I got it underlined in blue...it is on my wrist and here is is...
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| hmmm |
[Aug, 13th 2:16am] |
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ridin dirty |
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So yeah I havent updated in about a month or so...I have been having so much fun...I love my life right now...I mean I have so many people in it that I dont know what I would do without at this point...But I am moving in November and I know that its going to be tough at first...I will have Greg but I am leaving my friends and family and moving like 1500 miles away...naturally there are going to be some issues there...I am going though this is something that I want more than anything...I will be with my man and I have wanted to get out of minnesota since forever plus greg and I are going to start a family and that is something that I am willing to do almost anything for...we are waiting for a while though to start a family...I mean I am 20 I want to enjoy being 21 for a while and neither one of us are in any position money wise to support a child...Greg has a little girl and once we move to Oregon he is going to be supporting her so I know that we wont be able to handel another child...which is fine I want to bring a child into a good home in all aspects...but thats just me...whatever thought i am goint to have a family someday...I was thinking maybe 2 or 3 kids...no more than 3 though...and hopefully no twins...nothing against twins I mean I have twin brothers I have plenty of twins in my extended family too but I just dont think I want to raise twins...I dont know thats just me though...
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| its been awhile... |
[Jul, 16th 12:26am] |
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Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants |
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wow its been a long time since i have updated...not much has changed...I am still living with my awesome roommate...I am still with Greg...and I am still very much in love with him...he is still not with me in the city though which sucks but I am still hangin in there...We are still moving to Oregon in November...even though Greg was talking about Cali yesterday I dont think so...I dont want to live in Cali and I am not going to...I know what I can do to change that though and I plan on doing just that...I am still workin my ass off and still partying on the weekends...its quite the life to live but someone has to live it...A major heatwave has hit the city here and I am dying...I am in a house with no AC it is 12:30 am and it is still like 90 degrees out...all the windows and doors are open and it is still hotter than hell...I hate it...I have decided that I am not living in this state any longer than I have to...I mean 30 below in the winter 100+ in the summer...I cant take this anymore...I have to be somewhere that I can go and get away from the heat like the beach...and by beach I mean one that is off the ocean...not a lake...cuz as beautiful as lakes can be there is nothing like the ocean...and you all know that I am so right on that!! Plus there are mountains out there so I get the best of both worlds and I get to be with Greg all the time and start a family...My roommate says he gives it six months out there before I call him and tell him that I cant take it anymore and that I want to come back...I told him that he is out of his mind...Greg and I might not last forever...nothing is for sure and as much as I love him and as much as he loves me there is no telling what the future holds but I told my roommate that I wont ever come back to MN to live once I am gone...I just couldn't do that to myself...wow I am rambling...but thats ok...I havent done that in awhile...Trish is mad at me...but honestly I dont care...I wasnt going to sit back and watch her hurt one of my friends again...so whatever...she will either get over it or not but either way I can live with or without her...I have enough people in my life that it wont hurt to have or not have one more...hmmm what else can I ramble about?? hmmmmmm I dont know...I mean I am really content in my life when I think about it...I have an absolutely wonderful boyfriend whom I love with everything I have and I have a wonderful roommate that is more like a big brother than anything...well kinda...I have a great job I have a not so cool car(and that is totaly litteraly btw no ac in my car) but its a way to get around...I have not so much money...lots of bills to pay...I have a phone that I really cant figure out...hmmmm I have finally learned how to stick up for myself...which feels awesome because I am done with being walked all over and thats way cool!!! ummmmm I would love to go back to school but the funds are low right now...maybe when we move I will but who knows...Greg has a daughter that is way cute...I havent ever met her but she looks like him from her pictures...I will be her step mom some day...that is kinda weird to think about and say...I mean I am only 20 and I am going to be a step mom...but thats ok I am looking forward to it...I cant wait to start a family...wow this has gotten to be really long so I am going to go and have another drink...you know get to the party part of my life and I might update in another month or so...maybe...all depends on how busy my life gets...
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| Bored at work |
[May, 26th 8:35am] |
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Ashlee Simpson |
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Ok so its like 8:30 in the morning...I have already been to my meeting that was supposed to take an hour but lasted for like 10 minutes and now I have nothing to do til 9...I havent updated in awhile so I thought I would come and update all you lovely folks...not that there are that many of you but whatever...so yeah...lets see...the check oil light in my car had been coming on for about 3 weeks and I had been asking my roommate for about 2 weeks if he could look at it and change it for me because he is a guy and I am a girl and I know NOTHING about cars...I know how to drive them and put gas in them (after you read this you will agree that I know nothing) anyways he had finally went and got the oil for me and two days later he put it in...well he checked it first to see how much to put in...now I had got an oil change in feb. and i was due for another one at 142,000 miles, my car is at 151,000 miles...so I was a little past due on the change...so he checks the oil level and he kept putting it in and taking it out...I'm like "what are you doing just put the oil in." He was like "you have been driving a car without oil in it" I drove for like 3 weeks without oil!!!!!!!!!! do you know what that can do to your car?? It can blow the engine...I was so lucky to not have ruined my car! And during these last 3 weeks I have done quite a bit of driving...I have driven to Wisconsin like 2 times and to work and all over...I am so so so so so so lucky that my car loves me!!! My roommate said that he is taking my car to get an oil change today...I think thats probably a good idea...I'm just glad that Greg and I didnt leave to go out to OR yet!!! Oh yeah and I am finally moving, for good this time...We are going to drive down to southern california and then up the coast to oregon...I am so excited to get out of this stupid state and the stupid midwest...I am soooo sick of it here...I need a beach!!! anyways thats it for now!
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| I am not confused anymore and i know what I want!!! |
[May, 11th 11:18am] |
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So I now know what I am going to do...I am going to be with Greg...I mean I can't imagine life without him...although we have been apart for like all of our relationaship between him being in Cali and then now but I know that our love is strong enough to last through whatever else we have to go through...anyways I am so happy with my final choice and I cant wait till Greg is home and with me!!!
Oh yeah and I was gonna include a pic of him from last summer!!! here ya go!!!
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| so so so confused |
[Apr, 22nd 11:22pm] |
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lala-ashlee simpson |
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OMG...I am so confused...I love Greg with all my heart and I miss him more everyday but I just cant get how hurt I get when he says something stupid...he has never and will never hurt me intentionaly...but I think he should have more descretion in what he says and does...and now that he knows how I feel I think he might have more of an idea of how much he hurts me...and I know that I need to speak up more. But then there is this new guy that I really really like...I love spending time with him and talking to him and just being with him...but I just cant see myself with him for a long time and I can with Greg. And I love Greg and I just dont see myself loving anyone like that ever again. I am pretty sure this is the man I am ment to be with for a long ass time!
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| yeah wow... |
[Apr, 19th 2:13pm] |
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hmmmm a lot has happened since the last time i posted...Like I am kinda sorta single...I broke up with Greg about 2 weeks ago and i am now living with his friend...which is totaly awesome!!! I had just finally woke up and say that Greg isnt ever gonna change and that I cant make him change...he is 27 years old and he is still acting like he is 17...i didnt even act like i was 17 when i was 17...he wanted me to support him and i was for awhile but i couldnt do it anymore and then he always made me feel like shit! Thats not the kind of person that i need in my life...plus this new guy that I like a lot!! anyways he is so awesome!! he spoils me! I love it!! thats all that I am going to say about him tho because I would really like it to go where ever its going to go with out pushing...ya know?? also my best friend and i are like best friends again!! which is also sooooo awesome i missed that girl so much!
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| Sorry I didnt finish that last entry...but here it is. |
[Mar, 2nd 7:25am] |
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Well as you all already know...I am in love...this man is everything to me. When I'm not with him nothing is ok even though I know he still loves me...but I really really dont know what it is. When I get to be with him and in his arms nothing bothers me because his arms around me is all I need and its all that I want. He said that we are moving to Cali later in the year...I want to move to Oregon so that he is closer to his daughter but I dont know how thats going to go...The thing that scares me the most is knowing that I could loose this man in a heartbeat...Something could go wrong and he could be gone...I dont know what I would do without him. I cant remember what life was like before him and I dont want to know what its like after him...I need him. And now I have him...My advice...If you get mad at the one you love think things over before you go and make a mistake and say something that you dont mean...I got a second chance but not everyone is that lucky.
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| and soooooo |
[Feb, 10th 3:53pm] |
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he said I'm his everything!!! I love him!!! that is all!
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| whats up?? |
[Feb, 7th 3:36pm] |
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Carlos Mencia - Beautiful Energy |
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nothin much here...I went up to my dad's on saturday and stayed till sunday night...that was so much fun...I took my sisters out and stuff...I got a new tat!!! Its a palm tree and I love it!!! hmm what else...life is good...Greg might be moving in with me sooner!!! cant wait...it sucked that i didnt see him this weekend but I am this coming weekend and Im gonna like it!!! I cant wait i cant wait i cant wait...can you tell that I love this man more than anything...he actually called me today at work...I was like what the hell is he calling me here for? then i answered and hes like your phone is shut off and I was like um no its not i just paid the bill but apparently they didnt get the money so I guess my cell got shut off and my home phone is forwarded to my cell so when someone calls my home number it has a busy signal...this sucks...I wanna go home and be with Greg!!! exactly FOUR months and he moves in!!! OMG I cant believe its coming up so quick...there is so much to do!!! I think I am gonna get him a dog...I know he will want a dog and since I have my cats I suppose I can do a dog...it wont be bad at all...In fact as long as I'm with him nothing can be bad. I hope he knows how much he means to me and how much I love him. I really really really do!
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| on my mind |
[Feb, 2nd 2:40pm] |
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Evil Deeds - Eminem |
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Well a lot has been on my mind lately! Mostly Greg...I love him so much! Did you all know that? haha...nah really tho. He and I are moving in together in June, well he is moving in with me, but still. I cant wait...having him there all the time will be the best, when I am with him everything is right I dont worry about anything. But when we aren't together I feel like crap...then he calls and makes me smile. He calls me in the morning and the first thing I hear is, Good Morning Beautiful...its the best way to wake up without him actually next to me. And soon after he moves in with me, I will hopefully be pregnant. We always talk about having kids and he knows that I want it more than anything right now...Having a kid is the best thing that I can do with my life. And people say "you're so young, you arent ready to have kids." but i am and i know i am. This is what i want to do...i want to be a mom! Plus I know for a fact that Greg isn't gonna bail when i do get pregnant. I can't wait to move out to OR with him to so that his daughter knows how great her dad is. There is just so much to look forward to in my life. I cant wait to do it all! Starting with having kids...That unlike certain other people I will take care of and I wont pawn off on to my parents and try to kill and beat...just to let some people know that I know how to be a GOOD MOTHER, in case someone wanted to call me a slut or a hoe or something like that because I actually have a plan and I love the man that I am with and im not just sleeping with him to stay with him...yeah just a little side note for a certain WHORE!
anyways...I need to go to court cuz I was driving a car that didnt have insurance so i need to get that taken off my record...cuz thats a bitch to get around...but i honestly didnt know that it wasnt insured...if i had I wouldnt have driven it. so yeah...i get to do that on monday...this weekend is gonna suck cuz im not going to see greg. I think i might go up to my dad's tho...which should be fun...he hasnt seen my new car yet...
anywho...im about to go home so i will update later...and let you all know how my weekend was.
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| Me and Ash!!! |
[Jan, 20th 3:41pm] |
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Carlos Mencia |
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So me and my best friend, Ash, went to the mall last week and tried on dresses and i found the dresses for the brides maids at my wedding. And I was looking at wedding dresses. I cant wait to get married. I know its gonna happen by the end of next year!!! But I am so excited...last night i was with greg and we were just hangin out and there was this little girl (like 2 years old) and he was staring at her and i was staring at him with that look in my eye...and he was like how long? and i was like as soon as possible. I know that he wants a kid too...He has the cutest little girl! She is 7 and one night we were talking and he was like will you be a mommy to my little girl...it was so adorable how he asked. I was like really and he was like yeah...I said of course...DUH...it was just too cute how he asked! anyways here is my gang! and ash is my righthand man!!! YEAH!!!!
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[Jan, 13th 2:25pm] |
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thats somethin to be proud of - Van Zant |
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hey all!! Hows life?? Mine could be a bit better but i know that its just hormones going crazy right now. ummmmm...I am mad at Greg but what else is new? He is just being stupid and i know that I am more emotional right now than I ever have been before and that sucks because i take it out on him and its not all his fault. I've gone down to see him for the last few weekends and he keeps leaving my neck all tagged up and when i get to work all my co-workers are like ohhhh...which i really dont care...i really really dont...But i was talking to a co-worker today about my situation and she gave me some good advise so i think im gonna go with it because i know she is right! anyways this is just to vent! talk to y'all later.
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[Dec, 21st 5:16pm] |
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ok so why didnt anyone tell me that i was way behind in updating?? jeeeze! haha! well this weekend is gonna be busy...christmas eve with the bf and christmas day with muh aunt and grandma...then monday with the mom and dad...wow...i love christmas tho...i love shopping!!!! well thats about it for now...wanna know more you are sol unless you ask!
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| Hey |
[Dec, 7th 4:37pm] |
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ABBA - does your mother know |
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Well I am soooo bored...Im going out of town on friday to see Greg!!! YAY...then when I'm done there I am going to my aunts house...then when I am done there I am going to my dad's...I will leave my aunts saturday morning and get to my dad's saturday night. Then sunday I will leave my Dad's see Greg again and go home...maybe with sometime left over to get wasted with Melissa...Which I did last night and ended up throwing up like over 15 times...ugh...its just soooo good!!! haha...gotta love the minor alchy. whatever tho...those are my big plans! anyone wanna roadtrip =P
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| SOOOO |
[Dec, 5th 10:12am] |
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Aaliya - are you that somebody |
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its muh birthday and im stuck at work!!! yay!! but im going to see greg this weekend and that makes it all better...I havent seen him in over a month and miss him so much. I know this is the real thing too cuz he means the world to me!!
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05fallen_angel's journal
This is me! I am 20 years old and LOVIN it!!!! I get totaly confused over things that I shouldnt but i am thinking that is because I am a blonde. but hey arent we all in our own way? I live in Minnesota and HATE that...I have a boyfriend who i am absolutely crazy about...and when he comes home I am never gonna let him leave again!!!!
contemplative
Dear Santa...